2002-07-22 - 8:55 a.m.
So last Friday I talked a little bit about disappointment, disappointment about my car. Well, it is Monday�and according to Pro-Tech my heads will not ship till at least tomorrow. But based on they way things have been going up till now�well I wont have a working car till September. Sigh�What happened to shipping last Wednesday? I don�t even know why I bothered to get my hopes up. The way things have been going lately, I should have known better. Nothing is working out like I had expected or hoped.
So lets see, the year is about half over, I think I can safely claim that so far, 2002 has been one of the shittiest years I have ever had. Actually I can�t think of anything significant that has happened to me this past year that stands out as decidedly wonderful�or even pretty durn good. No that isn�t true�I can think of one thing. I got a Pearl. I think that happened in 2002 and not 2001�
So as it stands now, I don�t know if I will be able to go to the steam show after all. I guess I should have never gotten all excited about going. Seems like anything I get excited about these days blows up in my face. Well Puckeater, I guess that it is a good thing that you had different plans for this weekend after all. Well Friday is going to be a day off from work that is wasted. And before you ask�no I doubt I will get much of anything done. It will be too easy to remember that I am stuck in FUCKING Norfolk instead of spending time with friends and family.
I tell ya�I am very over this place. In fact I can�t think of anything other than the fact that I have a job here that would make me really want to stay. I don�t think that I am asking for much. I have been a real trooper. I have taken all the bullshit that has been served me in stride. I haven�t gotten angry, or too depressed, or anything. I have played the fucking game. When will it be my turn to bat? Sigh�
Fuck this. Fuck every last little bit of it. I am done�
Today I have learned, that if the eternal optimist gets shit on enuff without any break, they quit looking for things to remind them that it ain�t so bad. They quit looking for the little things that make weathering the bad easier, they just start dwelling on the bad. And that ain�t good for em. I tell ya you have never seen an angry bitter person till you have seen an easygoing optimist that has lost his faith in the world.
Ya know�I could really give a fuck what the rest of you learned today.
Btw Bryce�150 or so tent stakes later, a blistered hand, and a wicked sunburn later�I wasn�t able to get your handles finished. Sorry. Badger will be back this weekend, and since it looks like no steam show for me, I will try again this weekend to get em done.
Ok...fuck me. I just finished reading Balynar's latest entry. My problems are a meer shadow compared to what he is dealing with. I guess it is easy to loose perspective when you quit looking around, and get too caught up in yourself. Best wishes man...Perhaps something good will still come of all this...
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