2003-06-11 - 7:27 a.m.
I really don�t have much time to write...yet again. Damn this seems like it is becomming the norm for me. No time at all for me.
In fact that is something that is beginning to REALLY grate on my nerves. It is all about my Pops agenda...and getting the things done that he wants to do yadda yadda...But the few things that I want to get done are stupid or foolish (especially if they have nothing to do with loosing weight, or with what he sees as being important).
And then there is this whole weight loss thing...That is starting to really piss me off as well. I have been packing on the musscle lately...to me there is no question of that. I have been doing more lifting, draging, and man handling of things (that my pop can�t even budge btw) than I can shake a stick at...so when i tell him that I haven lost but 2 pounds in the last two weeks he makes a point of it to ride my ass all over the place. Your eating too much...your eating total crap...blah blah...But does he listen to me when I tell him that I just had to punch another hole in my belt...and the the 42�s that I am wearing now need a belt if I want them to stay on my ass...FUCK NO! All he sees is that the scale hasn�t moved an inch...But I tell him...and explain to him till I am blue in the face. But it does not matter. Does he care that I have dropped over 40 pounds now...and have gone down almost 3 sizes? Nope...it is all about the fact that I havent gotten to my mark of 225 yet. sigh....I am so over this.
ARRRGGGHHH...all this is is a bunch of whining...I know. I should be happy to be here. I should be thrilled by my whole siutation and what not...But I swear to fuck...if I don��t get the chance to do my own thing now and then, if I keep hearing that everything that I do is stupid or foolish...If he doesn�t stop being so fucking dense and closed minded to the things that I have to say...This bear is going to revolt.
Christ...all I can think about these days is a line Genie used to mutter all the time (and no...not always at me)...Ya know, It isn� t all about you ya know.
Well week three and no comics for the Bear...leaving town at 11 (whenthe shop opens) is too much of an inconvience just for comics...cause ya know...it means that we wont get back up country until dark (for fucks sake it is not getting dark until 9pm...and it is only a 3.5 hour drive)...and in my pops eyes...well comics are stupid and a waste of time.
So how is life here in CA? Well right now...I can�t wait till I get home...I miss my dog. I miss my friends. And I miss having nay control over my life.
Guess you were right Rich...These 8 months is going to be alot like being in the military. Perhaps I should start polishing boots...
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