2003-02-03 - 10:27 a.m.
So many things to consider�
I think that it is time that start getting my ducks in a row. San Francisco is calling and I don�t think that I should ignore its call any longer. It was a year ago when I first kicked around the idea of heading that way�and now an opportunity has presented it�s self that will come only once in a lifetime. I can�t let this slip by me.
I have so many things that I will have to get in order here first though. What do I about all my �stuff�? What do I do with my pets (I could probably find a home for Loki�but I could never leave Casey behind�but could he handle the flight to CA)? How about the house? I don�t want to put my roomies out on the street�will George allow me to continue paying rent on the place so I don�t have to pack all of my things and place them in storage while at the same time providing the roomies with a place to live? If not�then I have to find a place to store all of my stuff�which will be quite a feat (I have SO much shit!), and then there is storing the cars in such a way that they are both safe from vandals and the march of time. And then�there is my job�I would have to resign my position at the library. This scares me to death. For the first time in my life I have a REAL 9-5 job. I have health benefits�I have a steady income�What if I can�t find another job when I return to the East Coast�(Will I return to the East Coast?) or once in California, if I choose to stay?
What about my friends and family? Can I go back to seeing them only once or twice a year? I know that yall won�t forget about me or anything stupid like that�but I know that I would miss all of yall terribly.
What about my blacksmithing? If I leave now, I not only will I have to leave all my smithing stuff behind�but I will also be leaving behind my teacher, and I am learning so much�so fast these days.
And lastly there is my biggest fear of all�can my Pop and I stand to live together for an extended period of time? I have never been around him for longer than a few weeks�let alone a year (or more). Will I get there only to find out that after a month or two that we can�t stand to be around each other for an extended period of time? Will I be able to step up and meet his expectations/demands? Sigh�so many questions�
But unless I take that risk�I will never know, and most likely spending the rest of my life wondering�what did I miss? After all, I do remember saying less than a year ago that I wanted to just leave everything behind and go live on a mountain�away form the world for awhile. Well�now�s my chance right. I just need to convince myself that this is the right thing to do (or if not the right thing, at least that it is not a bad thing or the wrong thing). I have to try and not let my worries and fears paralyze me. But sometimes that is easier said than done�
I need to call my Pop back and talk to him a bit more seriously about this offer. And then start getting my ducks in a row for the move to California. Yall are right�this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I cannot let it pass me by.
I just don�t want to say goodbye (for now).
I have nothing more to report to you about work. I am at a different branch this week, and therefore I am not only removed from the situation�I am also out of the loop. You would think that I was on a different planet. Sigh�I guess moving to California for a little while would solve this problem as well. Not the way in which I would like it solved�but solved none the less.
I guess that is enuff from me at the moment�I will keep yall posted on what happens.
So far I have not learned anything new today�I have been a bit distracted by other things. But that of course should not prevent yall from learning anything new�
Oh wait a moment�I have learned something�I learned that the reason the my lab has suddenly begun to smell like ASS is because the �twins� have just showed up. For the love of God�can�t they tell how bad they smell�Ack�Why does the library attract the smelly?
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