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2004-01-28 - 8:11 a.m.

It has been 13 days since my last entry. How strange. I remember a time when I would write everyday. A time when I always had something to say. I guess those days are a thing of the past…At least for now.

I have been horribly sick for two days now. No not the pukey I can’t keep anything in my stomach sick, but the I ache all over and I am shivering kind of sick. The kind of sick that keeps you in bed even though you’re so achy that not even that retreat brings much relief.

Heh…figures that I would manage to get sick on the eve of Ice Castles. Ugh…I have armor to finish working on, I have garb to sort through, and endless other things to pack. Guess it can wait another day yet.

In more exciting news, all of my security clearance paperwork is done and in. So now I guess that I sit around and wait…wait…wait…

Ugh…the sooner this is all over, for good or bad, the happier I will be. I dunno, there is something about having to dig through the past ten years of your life that can make a fellah…well kinda introspective. Is that really how I spent (perhaps wasted) the last 10 years of my life? What have I learned in that time? Am I going to be judged worthy by some suit who has never met me? Bah…Like I said, the sooner all this is over the happier I will be. I am tired of all this waiting. It is tough to know that you have a very sweet job waiting for you, good pay, good benefits, good all sorts of stuff…but for some reason you are still having to pinch every penny, watch every dime…and…bah. I’m tired of this.

Have you ever noticed how sick dreams are always the best dreams? The current one that I remember had me riding on a motorcycle with 2 little brown dogs on the back. I can remember what fun it was to be riding again…But I can’t for the life of me figure out why I had these 2 little dogs on the bike with me. Dreams are an odd thing I tell ya.

Have I mentioned yet that I am REALLY looking forward to getting out of this house. This months gas bill is going to end up costing more than the rent for this house. How fucked up is that? But it gets worse. Even thought the heat is running almost non-stop…we haven’t managed to get it above 63 degrees in the house. No fucking wonder I’m sick. I live in the swiss cheese house. Gezus…I wish things would get a move on so I could GTFO of this town.



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